There is a house now far away where once
I received love……. That woman died,
The house withdrew into silence, snakes moved
Among books, I was then too young
To read, and my blood turned cold like the moon
How often I think of going
There, to peer through blind eyes of windows or
Just listen to the frozen air,
Or in wild despair, pick an armful of
Darkness to bring it here to lie
Behind my bedroom door like a brooding
Dog…you cannot believe, darling,
Can you, that I lived in such a house and
Was proud, and loved…. I who have lost
My way and beg now at strangers' doors to
Receive love, at least in small change?
This poem is from her ‘ Summer in Calcutta’ collection. The poet here talks about her Grandmother’s house and takes us readers back to her childhood days where her life felt safe and secured.
The tone of the poem is simple and poignant towards the end, the poet is describing to her lover (husband?), about the home where she spent her childhood and where she was once loved.
There is a house now far away where once
I received love……. That woman died,
The house withdrew into silence,
The poet here is reminiscing her grandmother’s house and describing it saying there is a house but now its very far away from where she lives. In that house she was loved by her grandmother but now her grandmother is no more and that house has become empty, silent and life less.
snakes moved
Among books, I was then too young
To read, and my blood turned cold like the moon
The picture of a small library is painted by poet here, she says there were books but the poet was too young to read those and among those books snakes moved and when ever she saw she was scared it made her blood cold like a moon.
How often I think of going
There, to peer through blind eyes of windows or
Just listen to the frozen air,
Or in wild despair, pick an armful of
Darkness to bring it here to lie
Behind my bedroom door like a brooding
Dog…
The poet always thinks about her Grandma’s house its constantly on her mind, as its been very long and she hasn’t visited that place and she is feeling guilty about it. She often dreams of going there but now that the house is locked since her grandmother is no more but still she doesn’t mind going even if just have to peer the house through the windows or even just listen to the silence which is frozen in time, she doesn’t mind picking some darkness from that house bring it back to her home where she is now stays, to keep it near her bed room door like a dog and brood over her loss.
…you cannot believe, darling,
Can you, that I lived in such a house and
Was proud, and loved…. I who have lost
My way and beg now at strangers' doors to
Receive love, at least in small change?
She refers to her husband or her lover as ‘darling’ and says that he can’t even try and imagine how happy she was when she lived there, how proud she was where she was loved unconditionally. But now she feels lost in life’s chaos and now she is begging strangers for the way to that house and those times where she spent her childhood where she received love, she doesn’t mind even if its for few seconds but she wishes to go back in time. The poet here feels lost in this current world and feels like the only place where she can find herself is that house but the sad part is that the person who loved her, her granny is no more but she is ready to trade anything to go back to her childhood days.
Comments
Post a Comment